Saturday, September 27, 2008

Forged In The Trenches

HG cried ceaselessly for more than an hour today and there was little KG or I could do about it. We spelled each other a bit, taking it in shifts, but it was still rather hard to bear.

Eventually in this kind of situation, I find that some part of me just relents. It's not that I quit trying to help him, of course; it's just that I eventually accept that - for the moment at least - I am utterly and completely powerless. Today I simply could not stop his suffering. 

Strange as it may seem, I feel as if something extraordinarily good came out of it. Holding him as he cried, incapable of soothing him, I instead looked into his eyes and simply took him in. It is a rare moment when one can look into the eyes of someone so upset and not shrivel up and retreat in one form or another. It taught me something. I think I grew closer to him today. I would prefer, of course, that HG not suffer through that kind of thing at all. Still and all, I consider myself fortunate to have been there when it happened.

Uno Mas

For The Textually Impaired

Henry The Great

Henry laughed yesterday, the first time ever. He and I had been playing on the couch together, tickling and talking, when he bleated one out. It seemed to really startle him (me too, of course). He got this sort of puzzled, cautious look on his face in the immediate aftermath. But just a minute later he was over any confusion and tried it again.

Needless to say, I was overjoyed. To see my reaction, you'd have thought he had generated cold fusion while brokering a peace accord between the Israelis and Palestinians. It's funny how excited you can get over the simplest of things.

Friday, September 19, 2008

Purposely Sticking Needles Filled With Pathogen Into My Darling Two-Month Old Son

HG got his first round of shots today. Five of them. One right after the other. 

We showed up at the pediatrician's office for his two-month (!) checkup and, after briefly airing a few concerns with the doctor, a nurse stepped in carrying a box full of needles. What happened next made her really laugh. HG batted his eyes and gave her a big smile, as if trying to charm his way out of all this. No such luck.

Once the shots began, HG did a lot of screaming. The needle would go in and he'd let loose a big holler before, quick as can be, the nurse would remove it and he'd start to settle down. Of course, almost immediately the whole process would repeat itself... and repeat itself... and repeat itself. It was heartbreaking to see HG continually think it was over, only to find out again and again that there was more to come.

As it happens, I'm afraid of shots, myself - like to a nearly phobic level - so it definitely pained me to watch the little guy go through it all. However, the need to be there for him made things much easier to bear. I leaned over and spoke comforting words into his ear as best as I could think of them. Poor KG was pretty upset as well. On the surface, she was rock-solid (no surprise there) but when everything was done and I stole a glance at her, she was really crying. It reminded me of the time, years ago, when my nephew was circumcised and my sister fled the room in tears. Mother love is a force of nature.

Anyway, HG's home now and - all worst fears to the contrary - he's perfectly fine. Other than the fact that he's sleeping more than usual, nothing has changed at all. Phew.

Saturday, September 13, 2008


Last night I posted about how HG was smiling and also how he had begun to fill up the entirety of his "Moses basket." Well this morning I got pictures of both! Enjoy.

Late Update: Another one!

"I am what I am and that's all what I am..."

Friday, September 12, 2008

Stray Photos

I've collected together some random photos having to do with HG that, for one reason or another, haven't been posted before. Think of it as a collection of rarities and B-Sides.

The Pregnancy:

The Big News

The Great Pumpkin Picture

Painting the mural in the nursery...

...and celebrating its completion


Day One

So Tiny

Pastime #1: Sleeping

Pastime #2: Crying

Showing off a sweet, patient disposition while being burped

Close to present: a soulful look

Our Little Boy is All Growed Up

Well, not quite. But things are changing...

He's smiling now, real smiling, the kind of smiling that's obviously smiling as opposed to poop grimacing. Oh my God, its boffo. Sadly, it's been difficult so far to get a good photo of it (he's usually moving too much) so my apologies for the blurry picture. Anyway, as you can imagine, when it comes to smiles, KG and I are absolute junkies. As soon as he doles out even a small one, we immediately turn into wild-eyed, smile-seeking idiots.

He's getting big, too, though I've only recently begun to notice. Today as I found myself showing off pictures of him, including some we took during the first few weeks, it was suddenly so obvious. I looked at the newborn shots and thought "HOLY COW, he was small!" Last night I put him down in what we call his little "Moses basket" and I realized he's going to outgrow it pretty soon. Quite a shocker.

His sound-making abilities have also begun to expand - wildly exciting, I know! For those of you who I'M CERTAIN are interested in the blow by blow details of such things, he has recently moved from a primarily grunt-only form of communication to one that includes several interesting variations of coo and gurgle.

He's more and more interactive every day. He looks around at everything and takes in what he sees. We have a little mat they call a "baby gym," with toys hanging from above for him to punch at. He's recently begun to use it in earnest. I lay him down on it, jiggle one of the toys and say, "Can you hit it?" and he actually does, wiggling his legs and smiling at his success. 

About to punch a bug

I love him.  I love him I love him I love him.  

There, I said it.

Saturday, September 6, 2008


I haven't posted in a week or so, so while I'm putting together my next real entry, I thought I'd put up a couple of pics. 

KG with the baby all wrapped up

Daddy and son